The “Perfect” Housewife

In case you haven’t noticed, this blog name is kind of a joke.  No one is perfect.  The point is that we are all on the road to being the best woman we can be- whoever she is.  TPH is here to make that road a little easier.

A while back my online friends and I came up with this obnoxious list of what makes a “perfect” housewife.  I’m posting this to get you to roll your eyes at how ridiculous it is.  Try to remember that we should all try to be the best we can be for US, not just because that’s what society or our mother-in-laws say we should be.

The Perfect Housewife always keeps the entire house spotless.

The Perfect Housewife only wears pajamas at night time and sweats to the gym. Otherwise she is dressed for company.

Hamburger Helper? Goodness, no! Everything is made from scratch in the Perfect Housewife’s home.

The Perfect Housewife gets up at 5am to make her husband a nice breakfast before work.

The kids are always dressed at the Perfect Housewife’s house. Ne’er a diaper showing or a stained bib here!

And speaking of stains, the Perfect Housewife always has a load of laundry going! Idle hands…

The Perfect Housewife laughs in the face of an empty fridge- she knows how to throw together a gourmet meal using a pound of chicken, 5 peas and an apple core.

The Perfect Housewife has sex with her husband every night and of course has an orgasm.

The Perfect Housewife is always cheerful and refreshed after her relaxing day of not working.

The Perfect Housewife welcomes her husband home with a 6 pack in one hand and the TV guide in the other. She knows the importance of encouraging his extra curricular activities.

The Perfect Housewife never ever gets sick.

The Perfect Housewife never worries when her husband stays out late. He must just be having too much fun to call!

The Perfect Housewife is sure to lose all the baby weight in a respectable amount of time. What man likes extra tub around the middle?

Split-ends and hangnails are just not in a Perfect Housewife’s vocabulary. Dishpan hands are so 1953!

The Perfect Housewife loves to vacuum. The more you vacuum, the more slender your arms get!

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